What it is

Filial Play Coaching & Mentoring is a support service for parents that focuses on strengthening the parent-child relationship through play.

Parents do not only receive education about parenting. They learn and practice specific skills for interacting with their child, through training, practice with the child, observation, feedback, coaching, and mentoring from a Filial Play Coach/Mentor.

The focus is not simply on correcting a child's behavior, but on how the quality of the parent-child relationship can become a source of positive change for the child's emotional development, behavior, self-regulation, and well-being. Parents are a central part of the change process, because they can continue using the skills they learn in everyday interactions at home.

Why Does the Parent-Child Relationship Matter?

The parent-child relationship is one of the important contexts for a child's emotional, behavioral, and mental health development. A longitudinal study of 593 families found that maladaptive parenting patterns were associated with a higher risk of psychiatric disorders in the children into adolescence and young adulthood (Johnson et al., 2001).

This does not mean that every emotional or behavioral difficulty a child has is caused by the parents. Child development is shaped by many biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors. The parent-child relationship is, however, one area that can be strengthened to support a child's development.

Why Use Play?

Play is a child's natural way to communicate, express experiences, explore feelings, try out roles, and make sense of their world. In Filial Play Coaching, parents learn to be present and respond to their child differently through play, using child-centered, non-directive principles: following the child's lead while keeping boundaries that are safe and appropriate.

A meta-analysis of 93 controlled studies found positive effects of play therapy for children, with very good results for interventions that involved parents (Bratton et al., 2005). A more recent meta-analysis supports Child-Centered Play Therapy and Child-Parent Relationship Therapy in helping reduce internalizing problems such as anxiety, depression, and withdrawal (Taylor & Ray, 2026).

In individual play therapy, the therapeutic process happens between the child and the therapist. In the filial approach, the professional trains, observes, gives feedback to, and accompanies the parents, so those skills can be used with the child in everyday life (Rye, 2008).

The relationship itself becomes part of the intervention.

What Do Parents Learn?

Through Filial Play Coaching & Mentoring, parents can learn to:

  • be present and give their child quality attention;
  • follow the child's lead in play more responsively;
  • listen to and understand the child's communication through play;
  • recognize and reflect the child's emotions;
  • respond more empathically;
  • give encouragement that supports the child's development;
  • set boundaries that are safe, clear, and consistent;
  • respond to the child's behavior more reflectively; and
  • build interactions that help the child feel seen, understood, and accepted.

The goal is not to turn parents into their child's therapist. Parents remain parents, with added skills for understanding and responding to their child's emotional needs more effectively.

Special Playtime

An important part of Filial Play Coaching is Special Playtime: dedicated, structured play time for practicing the skills that have been learned.

Special Playtime is different from everyday play. In this dedicated time, parents learn to be more fully present, physically, attentively, and emotionally, and to give the child room to lead the play within safe limits. Parents practice reducing the tendency to give too many instructions, correct or take over the play, ask too many questions, decide how the play should go, or shift attention to other activities.

Instead, parents practice observing, following, reflecting, responding with empathy, and keeping boundaries consistently. The length and frequency are adjusted to the filial model used, the stage of the program, the child's age and needs, and the guidance of the Filial Play Coach/Mentor. What matters most is the quality of the parent's presence and responses, not how long the play lasts.

Connection Before Correction

Behavior change does not always start with correction. In many situations, a child first needs to feel safe, understood, and connected to the adults who matter to them.

Connection Before Correction

This principle does not mean parents become permissive or that the child may do anything. Parents also learn to set safe, clear, and consistent boundaries while keeping an empathic relationship. The aim is a balance between connection, acceptance, and appropriate boundaries.

How Does the Program Work?

The program begins with a consultation to understand the family's situation, the parent-child relationship, the child's needs, and the goals the family wants to reach. The Filial Play Coach/Mentor then helps parents learn the skills step by step through education, demonstration, training, practice, observation, reflection, and feedback.

  1. 1

    Initial consultation

    Understanding the child's needs, the parent-child relationship, the family situation, and the program goals.

  2. 2

    Introduction to filial skills

    Parents learn the principles and basic skills of child-centered, non-directive play.

  3. 3

    Demonstration and practice

    The coach demonstrates the skills and parents practice them before using them with the child.

  4. 4

    Special Playtime

    Parents practice the skills with the child in dedicated, structured play time.

  5. 5

    Observation and feedback

    The coach observes the practice and gives specific, constructive feedback.

  6. 6

    Coaching and reflection

    Discussing the parents' experience, the child's responses, challenges, and adjustments to strategy.

  7. 7

    Practice at home

    Parents continue practicing consistently in everyday life.

  8. 8

    Progress review

    Reviewing the relationship, the parents' skills, the child's responses, and the needs of the next stage.

Skills are learned through direct experience, not only theory, so parents understand what they are doing, why it matters, and how to apply it consistently.

Who Is This Service For?

Filial Play Coaching & Mentoring can be used by parents who want to:

  • strengthen closeness and their relationship with their child;
  • understand their child's emotional world better;
  • improve the quality of parent-child communication;
  • learn to respond to their child's behavior and emotions more effectively;
  • build confidence in parenting;
  • support a child who is going through emotional or behavioral difficulties; or
  • build healthier family relationship patterns early on.

The program can be used promotively and preventively to strengthen the relationship, or as part of support when emotional or behavioral difficulties are already present. Suitability is determined through the initial consultation, because not every child's or family's need is best met through Filial Play Coaching alone. If a need is found that calls for assessment or another intervention, we will discuss it with you.

The Professional Approach at Temenos

Filial Play Coaching & Mentoring at Temenos is delivered by Silvia Lestari, S.Psi., Certified Filial Play Coach Mentor. Her profile lists the Post Qualifying Filial Play Coach Mentor qualification from Play Therapy Indonesia, Play Therapy UK, and Play Therapy International.

Play Therapy International (PTI) sets specific standards for Certified Filial Play Coach/Mentors, including accredited postgraduate training, supervised clinical experience with parents and children, ongoing clinical supervision, clinical governance, and continuing professional development (Play Therapy International, n.d.).

At Temenos, we see that parents do not need to be perfect to build a meaningful relationship with their child. What can keep growing is the ability to be present, to understand, to respond, to repair the relationship when things get hard, and to reconnect.

Through play, parents learn to see the child differently, and children experience being seen differently.

Start with the Relationship

Children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who are present, who understand, and who are willing to reconnect. Filial Play Coaching & Mentoring helps you build that, through play.

References

  • Bratton, S. C., Ray, D., Rhine, T., & Jones, L. (2005). The efficacy of play therapy with children: A meta-analytic review of treatment outcomes. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 36(4), 376–390. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7028.36.4.376
  • Johnson, J. G., Cohen, P., Kasen, S., Smailes, E., & Brook, J. S. (2001). Association of maladaptive parental behavior with psychiatric disorder among parents and their offspring. Archives of General Psychiatry, 58(5), 453–460. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.58.5.453
  • Play Therapy International. (n.d.). International standards for certification in play therapy and filial play. https://playtherapy.org/international-standards/
  • Rye, N. (2008). Filial therapy for enhancing relationships in families. Journal of Family Health Care, 18(5), 179–181. PMID: 18973091.
  • Taylor, J. L., & Ray, D. C. (2026). Child-centered play therapy and child-parent relationship therapy effects on internalizing problems: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Play Therapy, 35(1–2), 1–16. https://doi.org/10.1037/pla0000250